Thursday, March 4, 2010

Following Dreams

A few weeks ago I was at coffee hour talking to one of our church members and we were talking about our college age kids.  I had mentioned that Sarah had one this big writing award and that she was graduating in a couple months. When I mentioned that she wanted to be a writer and I got that look again and the comment 'is she planning on starving'.

I think I went on to say something else but his comment bothered me.  When I discuss this at other times people always say 'Is she going to teach? And I say no she is not interested in teaching, then you get the look again.  That oh why didn't you have her get a teaching certificate anyways, or she'll be living in your basement for years look.  Why is it when you have a creative career people always want you to do something else too?

This having an creative dream and following through is so hard when no one supports you. I have never heard promising comments from another adult when I mention my daughters chosen career.  Tell me why aren't people saying, Oh she got her degree, great, that should open some doors for her, or she won that writing award,  that is the first of many she will win.  Or I can't wait to see her books at Barnes and Noble.  Why does everyone assume that she will not succeed.With all this negativity its amazing anyone follows their dream, that anyone succeeds.

Where would the world be if JK Rowling never followed her dream of being a published writer, or Monet who struggled all his life or Van Gogh who I think sold one painting in his lifetime. Why aren't people more supportive.  I just don't understand it.

When Sarah graduated from High School this is what she said about her career goals.  "I am going to write an award winning novel that will be made into an academy award winning motion picture." I loved the strength of that goal. I made her promise to take me on the red carpet when that happens. I don't hear her saying that statement anymore.  I hope the opinions of others have not squashed that dream of hers.  She is a fantastic writer and I know she will be successful.


  1. i love this post. i have a bfa in painting, my husband has a bfa in theater, one daughter has a bfa in dance and the other a degree in literature and who wants to be a writer...and yes, we've heard and continue to hear all the discouraging talk. my husband eventually gave up on theater and works as a retail manager for a small environmental non profit. i have been a free lance artist and writer my whole adult life. my dancing daughter has kids and now teaches and the youngest is either traveling around the world or working as a bar tender to pay for her travel around the world...we are all pretty poor financially but pay our bills. we own our own home, the oldest daughter and her husband own theirs and my youngest shares a house with 2 other people when she's not traveling and living out of her backpack.

    that man may sneer but none of us would change a thing.

    yay for your daughter. life is hard enough. people who stomp on other people's dreams need to go stand in the corner and repeat 50 times, i will not be mean, i will not be envious, i will not be mean, i will not be envious...

    because in my humble opinion, people who snort and sneer at artists, writers, dancers, actors, dreamers, baseball players, etc. are really just sorry they didn't do something they love, too....

  2. I think Mary, in the above comment, said it best! People who try to discourage creative people are probably just sad, and mad at themselves for not doing what they love to do. I try to always encourage anyone who is creative....actually I try to encourage anyone no matter what their dream may be. And I, for one, will not only look for your book at B&N but I'll also look for your daughter's as well.

  3. Good for you for giving her a chance to go for her dream, for supporting and encouraging her. No matter what the outcome, the worst thing that could happen is that she get a chance to do some form of what she loves, and that she will not have regrets when she gets older. This is a valuable gift. The best thing that could happen is that she will meet her goals and more. This is a no lose situation. I wish I'd had someone to support my creative dreams when I was young. It is cruel to push someone away from what they show obvious talent for and enjoy as well because you have opinions about how successful they'll be.

    I too think that many people have given up on their dreams and so think that dreams are impractical. They then resent those who go for it.

    Peace and love,


  4. As long as Sarah follows her heart she will be OK. Hope she has read Julia Cameron's The Right to Write.
    Why do some people think they have the right to be dream busters? Oh it has happened to so many of us.

  5. BTW
    Lurve the new banner Kate!

  6. I wish your daughter nothing but success and fun in the process of gaining that success.

  7. Kate, you're wonderful for supporting your daughter this way. No doubt she will succeed.

  8. Why don't the pair of you go and stand in a large bookstore and walk around trailing your fingers over the spines and trying to remember all those authors' names... There are too many to remember of course - all those people that made it happen. Believe!

  9. Kudos to Sarah for going for her dream and to you for being so supportive.If only more people had as supportive a parent as you.

    And I can't wait to see the two of you on the red carpet - or for that day that I'll be looking on the shelves at B&N for both of your books!


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